I'm Back

I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to post. I got back on Monday night and got caught up in responding to 200 emails and I went on 2 interviews, I have a phone one this morning. Then there's the laundry factor, and seeing Lauren.

Anyway, my trip was good. It was very nice being in some warm weather, not so nice coming back here and having to wear a winter coat. Steven and I went out to eat, went down to the French Quarter, and of course Bourbon St. I know that its cheesy to go down to Bourbon St., but it really is fun. I think that its all of the lights and excitement down there that draws me to it. We also went to the Saints vs Eagles game and sat up in the suite. I love free food and drinks!

I went on 2 interviews down there, one for a recruiter job at this recruiting company, and the other at a boutique for a manager's job. I recieved an offer from the boutique, the woman was great,and we really hit it off.

Unfortunetly my next sentence is probably going to shock all of you....

I'm not moving down there right now, and Steven and I broke up. Temporarily. If there is such a thing.

I'm not going to get into the details because I get upset when I do. Plus this would be a really long post. Steven just felt that we need to spend time apart and figure things out on our own. Living in different cities hasn't helped either, its really hard when we would talk on the phone or text message, or email.

It happened Tuesday night, and I hate to be such a girl, but its Thursday and I'm still upset about it. I've cried myself to sleep the last 2 nights, and I keep thinking about what went wrong and everything that Steven said to me on the phone. We were together for a year-and-a-half and I've never felt so hurt in my life.

No matter what anyone says it really makes you feel flat out shitty when relationships end. What hurts me the most is that Steven doesn't seem to be motivated by me, or our relationship to want to make his life better. Maybe its because we were together stressing each other out, I don't know. I guess I just believe that you if you really love someone than you'll do whatever it takes to be with them and make it work.

He hopes that one day I can forgive him, and that yeah, we could be together again. Part of me gets happy when I hear that, and the other part of me gets really mad and wants to just tell him to take a long walk off a short pier.

I'm reading "It's called a Break-up Because its Broken" by the guy who wrote "He's just not that into you" and maybe it will shed some light on this situation for me. I know that I'm not alone that this happens to people all of the time, but it really sucks, and it really hurts.

Well, I don't mean to write such a depressing post. I have no idea what the future holds, but if there is one thing that I do know is that everything will be okay. I hope.