Merry Christmas

Well, this will probably be my last post before I leave for NY tomorrow. Unless something blogworthy happens later on today.

Anyway, I'm not feeling 100% happy today. Maybe some of you could offer me some comforting advice.

So, last night I had dinner w/Steven because he's leaving to go to New Orleans tomorrow for Christmas. I won't see him until New Years Eve. After driving around for 30 minutes trying to find a parking space, deciding to go to another restaurant because they had valet parking, we finally sat down. Everything was going fine until Steven hands me Tiffany's box. I open it, and there's a sterling silver Paloma Picasso Loving Heart ring in it. I've been talking about wanting another ring because the one that I wear on my left had I've had since I was 13. Don't worry, I wear it on my middle finger.

Anyway, I suddenly lost my appetite and felt tears welling up in my eyes. The reason why is because I didn't get Steven a gift. He had told me this past weekend that he wished that he could get me something really nice, but that he just couldn't afford it right now. I told hime that it was totally fine, and that there really wasn't anything that I wanted anyway. I meant that. My parents got me a new work bag, and my sister is getting me the other stuff that I wanted. I never ask for much anyway.

I also told Steven that I will make my gift me going to New Orleans for New Years. The flights are expensive b/c of hurricane Katrina, but I don't want to be away from him on New Years.


Right now I feel like the worst person in the world. I cried last night, and Steven told me not to worry about it. I hate how no matter what Christmas always ends up being about material things. It never ends up being about spending time with the people that you love.

I know that Steven's feelings are hurt and that makes me feel hurt.

I think about all of those people in the Gulf Coast who have lost everything, and it makes me feel selfish to even ask for a gift. I just wish that more people would look past the gift part of Christmas.

Well, Merry Christmas everyone. I'm sorry for the blah post. I'm sure when I get back from NY I'll have some funny stories. Until then I hope that everyone has a happy holiday season.