So you had a bad day.

You sang a sad song, blah blah blah.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

It's raining outside and I can't help but stare out the window at the fog and the rain. Everytime it rains here a blanket of fog covers the city.

Anyway, I've reached the point in my life where someone in this city, state, country, or world wants me to completely miserable for the rest of my life. Never wants me to know what it feels like to be successful or be in love and happy. I know that this sounds ridiculous, but I'm fully convinced because of all of the things that have happened to me in the past year, and part of this year. It sure makes me wish that I did things differently, but the past is the past, its over and done with. All I can do is continue to look foward and never look back.


So, Monday I decided that I was going to go into work and be brave and talk to my boss about making me a recruiter. I woke up knowing what I was going to say, and felt good about it. I realized that even though I had only started 3 months ago, that I didn't want to be in an administrative role anymore. So, my big boss calls me into his office, and I think yes, this is my big chance.

And then it happened. The one thing that I've been dreading since the day that I walked into that office on my first day. The one thing thats already happened to me and that I fear the most. It wasn't because I just made one mistake after another, or that I didn't work hard enough, really it was because I'm not detailed orientated enough, and yes, I do get flustered when something is not perfect.

I'm told how fantastic my attitude is, how incredible the amount of effort and enthusiasm that I put into everything I do is. How great my personality is. How much potential I have to be successful just not there.


I seriously felt like I just got dumped. Like I was really having a bad dream and that I was going to wake up and it was going to be a beautiful Saturday morning.

So, here I am again. Back to where I started. I know that this kind of stuff happens all of the time to people, but I feel like a total idiot. People must seriously think that I'm totally stupid. I work so hard, and I try so hard, I bend over backwards for people, and its not enough in the end.


But on a brighter note, I went on an interview yesterday, and I have another one for another job today. None of which are administrative jobs. Like the book title "He's just not that into you," applies to guys, for me its "The job was just not that into you" applies to me.

Even though I sound upset right now I'm not. I hated that job but I loved the people. I took steps a few weeks ago to find another job and so far I've gotten a lot of calls for interviews, and 2 in one week in the same week that this happens is pretty good I think.


I cried on the way home on Monday and then I had lunch with this girl who used to work there but quit a month ago, and after I met her I started to laugh. I laughed because when you really think about this its funny. For those who know me well they'd think that it was funny. They should make a reality tv show for people like me.

So, I had a bad day. I sang a sad song. I laughed. I looked up at the sky and told myself that things are going to be alright. And what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.