A Self Reflection...

There's something about the spring days and the sunsets those nights that always make me think about everything thats happened to me up until this point in my life.

I think about life on Long Island before we moved out here in Chicago, college, ex-boyfriends, friends that I don't talk too anymore, mistakes that I've made, and the future.

There are so many things that I wish I could do all over again, like my study abroad trips. Or things that I wish I had done differently, or things that I wish that I never said and wish that I could take back.

But I guess all of that is just part of life, and growing up. My life has always been a series of uphill battles, and will probably continue to be that way. I struggled during my education with my learning disability, and kids picking on me when I was younger b/c of my glasses, and now its trying to find my "wings" jobwise, and a relationship that doesn't get all screwed up.

I've been stupid, selfish, dishonest, indecisive, and I've never once stopped to ask myself what I really want. It's always been about what my parents want, or just trying to please them and those around me. I've cried alot of tears over jobs, relationships, and mistakes that I've made. Yet now I've learned from all of them since they were all experiences. I can't change the past, or take it back, but I can change the future.

I can become a better person, and prove to people out there who think differently that I truly am a good person, and that I deserve good things. And if they can't or they don't then they never really saw the good in me to begin with and are probably not worth my time anyway. So what if I talk too much?? Hehe.

I sound like I'm drunk. Which I'm not. I have no idea if I'm really making any sense here, I don't even think that it matters. Today just got me thinking about all of this. I just thought that I'd share it. I hope that those of you who read my wonderful blog will appreciate this posting....


:-)