Why I Can't Go to Target or the Grocery Store.
Today on my last official day of being unemployed (start my new job Monday) I went grocery shopping with my mom like I do every week, she likes the company, and always needs help with the bags.
However, I've come to the conclusion that it depresses me. That and the home department at Target.
Grocery shopping depresses me because every time I go with my mom to this one grocery store there's always either a young couple, or a young mom with a baby. This is just makes me miss Steven even more, and think about all of the times that we used to go grocery shopping together. And how I paid for his groceries a few times while I wasn't working. But we won't get into that.
The home department at Target makes me depressed because I don't have a home of my own, let alone one with someone else to share it with, and decorate.
I'm not saying that I want all of those things right now, but I still want them. The home of my own more than anything because I feel so pathetic that I live with my parents at my age.
This is also sad becasue I love Target and I never thought that a day would come when I would feel that an aspect of it made me depressed or sad. I also love grocery shopping because I love food.
I hope that one day when the pain of my broken heart has subsided that I can go to those places again and not feel so sad, but until then I'm not going because I'm trying to heal the pain, not make it worse. I know that your'e all probably sick of hearing me say how sad I am about Steven and how much I miss him, but hey, this is my blog and I'll say whatever I want.
So goodbye home department at Target and goodbye grocery store.
posted by Caroline @ Friday, November 17, 2006
4 Comments:
I too feel the same way about Target. I get that way in the baby section, too. But, to combat the sadness--I go to the book or DVD section of Target and I buy myself a little happy.
Awww, I'm so sorry to hear this. I hoped you might be doing better, but I understand (not to your degree, of course, but still a bit) what you are going through. Everything reminds me of NB (also known as Joel) and since he lives so close by I hate driving anywhere in that vicinity (sp?). What sucks is that time is really the only thing that can help you. Just stay extremely busy, to the point of exhaustion, that's my advice and what's helped me. I have an exercise video that I do every day that I used to never do, just because it takes up time. I don't think you not wanting to go to those places for a while is pathetic--I wouldn't either. You are helping yourself heal by not going. I say, good for you! I will keep you in my prayers.
Thanks for your sweet comment about my aunt. I really appreciate that.
I could have sworn I already commented about this, but it's not showing up. Anyway...I don't blame you for not going there for a while. It's not crazy that that reminds you of him. It's a healthy choice for you, I think, for right now, so that you can move on.
I thought I left a comment on here....did it get denied?
Post a Comment
<< Home